These are the first two chapters of my first novel. At least, my first serious novel. Anyway, any critiques would be helpful as well as your impressions of the characters. For those worried about lenght, it's about 8,488 words long, and about 25 pages of a 450-500 page paperback, in case you were curious. I would have separated them, but I thought they made more sense put together. Hope you enjoy it and it's good to be back!
(Oh, and the novel is seperated into three books, kinda like how the Lord of the Rings or the Firekeeper Saga by Jane Lindskold is set up.)
Prologue
Night of Memories
“… and so, I hereby declare, that the order of the Knights of the Wild is once again established. May we all see the day when a true king will rise to the throne.”
Everyone cheered with their cups raised as Bennick finished his speech. Everyone but Hunter, who had no cup to add to the crowd. He leaned against the wall near the back of the torch lit cavern they were housed in, and watched as everyone else began their little celebration.
There were few enough there, only twelve including himself, but it had come a long way in such a short time. Being a warrior of the order since its beginning, back before it was truly formed, Hunter knew just how much Bennick had put into reestablishing the Knights.
It wasn’t long before those who had instruments, and those who truly knew how to play them, were crafting their melodies. He didn’t bother looking to see who played what, but he could hear the whistling of a flute, a guitar and a fiddle, surprisingly sounding good together with their amateur players. The others entered the circle made by the tables and began moving to the tunes.
The tables themselves were bare of cloth, only holding plates and what food could be spared for such an occasion. It wasn’t the grandest feast he had seen, but it would serve its purpose. Hunter took in the aroma that took little time to permeate the entire area. The venison, his personal choice, caressed his nose and tempted him to move from his comfortable position, even though he wasn’t hungry. Ham, fruits, and vegetables were also out from storage. Bread was in absence because there hadn’t been time for a proper hearth to be constructed. That didn’t bother him however, for he had lived without it for quite some time. The venison, however, he thought he might pick up later in the evening.
While the others seemed to be wearing the best clothes they could find still in their possession, he simply wore his usual clothing, consisting of leather breeches and a cotton shirt. There was no need to dress fancier, at least no reason that he saw. It was an informal party, more for pleasure than an actual celebration, even if it could later become a historical event.
As the dancing began, several of those gathered looked in his direction. Nearly all of them looked away from him just as quickly. Likely, the ones who came from the city found it rude of him to be wearing armor at such an occasion. It was only on his left arm, a smooth and finely crafted leather armor set, covering his shoulder and lying across the length of his arm. He didn’t care what they thought though, as he had his reasons to wear it, and he would never remove it, for any reason. Glancing at it, as he occasionally found himself doing, he recalled how he had been unable to repay the craftsman when the armor was made. He would have to do so when he next encountered the man, for he certainly deserved a reward for his fine work.
Looking up, he found Bennick sitting at the head table, seemingly enjoying his meal and watching the dancers as well as the musicians. He was a big man, easily the largest in the cavern, but not the largest Hunter had seen. His hair was brown, shaggy, and curly, and there was a fair amount of it all over his body. The beard was not kept at great length, which would have looked ridiculous on him. Tonight, he wore his finest clothes like the others, leaving his broadsword in his room. Hunter easily recalled the times when Bennick had used that massive broadsword, Mountain Cleaver he called it, slicing through scales, armor, and an entire tree with seemingly equal ease. And yet there he sat, smiling at those gathered before him, looking like he had never held a weapon in his life. Even Hunter couldn’t help but feel at ease with Bennick, even if he did occasionally disagree with him.
Turning his gaze back towards the dancers, it wasn’t long before he spotted others of whom he knew well. The easiest to find was Rishele, swinging around the others and covering the entire dance floor with her movements, a smile on her face that barely help back laughter. Those movements reminded Hunter of the times he had seen her fight when outnumbered. The comparison brought out a rare chuckle from his lips, and he continued to watch her for a bit in contentment. He could even visualize her in combat as she danced. She weaved through and around pairs of dancers, seemingly oblivious to their presence. Her long red hair was tied back into a ponytail and she wore what one would likely consider men’s clothing, as usual. As she whipped around the dance circle, she grabbed a partner to share in her merriment.
The person that she chose to dance with, for the moment, was someone that Hunter did not enjoy being near. Tallis was the youngest member of the order and the only one younger than Hunter himself. The boy, as Hunter saw him, did not belong with the order, yet there was no place else he could go. At the moment, his blonde hair was cut extremely short and he was one of the finer dressed individuals there. Hunter looked away toward the closest torch hanging from the wall, still not understanding what Bennick saw in the boy. Bennick viewed him as a young man, and had been trying to convince Hunter of that for nearly two seasons.
There was another there that he knew well, but looking through the crowd, he could not find her. Sighing, he stood in the shadows and watched the others enjoy themselves. He began pay more attention to the music than the dancers, as it held far more for him. Though the musicians did not compare to the songs that nature could create, they made a sound all their own that was almost as pleasing. As soon as they finished their second set, they swept into a third, a slower piece that caused all the dancers, even Rishele, to dace at a slower pace. Hunter knew the piece well. Memories had tied themselves to the piece, memories he wished would remain buried, for they only brought him pain. Taking one last look at the dancers, who were now dancing formally to the somber music, he stepped away from the wall and quietly made his way to the exit.
He walked through the main hall of the extensive cavern, passing several halls on his way to the entrance. Various tunnels made their way through the mountain, leading mostly to empty caverns. It had not been long since they found the tunnels and so little had been built in them. But even Hunter could see how much could be done. With little stonework, the halls were wide enough for three men to walk comfortably side by side and tall enough so that each man could carry a spear upright. He wasn’t sure how these caverns came to be, but knew that they had been untouched by human hands until their arrival.
The music soon died off behind him, slowly being replaced by a soft pattering sound. It was a sound so familiar and welcome that he knew it in an instant. What had been left of the evening sun was now covered by clouds, and a light rain had begun. Hunter took off his cotton shirt as he reached the opening, laid it on the dry stone of the tunnel, and sat on the ledge of the cliff with his legs off the end. He always felt at peace in the rain, and relaxed, letting the rain wash away the slight tension that had begun and bringing him calm. Even the rain brought back memories though, as the song had, but these memories were ones he was far fonder of. A time when life was beginning, a journey starting, and a purpose was entering his life.
“Hunter?” he heard a young woman’s voice next to him.
He recognized the voice instantly, and looked up to meet Leona’s eyes. The light blues eyes seemed to almost shine in a way through the evening rain. Her face seemed so delicate at the moment, but he had seen that face with a fiercer look on it, and knew there was strength behind those gentle features. He looked at her without a word, knowing there was nothing he needed to say.
“I guess you wouldn’t be one for a party, would you?” she asked.
“No, but it was a good idea. Those inside will be better off for it.”
“But not you.” Though it was a statement, there was still a bit of a questioning tone involved.
There was nothing he could say to that, and so he looked out across the dark horizon, at the forest below and the plains far to the east. For a time only the rain made a sound, a gentle rain that merely pattered against the unmoving stone of the mountain, as well as those sitting on the stone.
“Does this seem familiar to you?” he asked.
“Yes,” she replied, “Like the first time we met; only you had your swords with you then.”
He smiled at the comment. He had actually thought about wearing his swords to the party, being as much a part of him, if not more so, than his armor. But, with only the slightest persuasion from Bennick, he had decided to go without them for the evening. Those who had joined the order more recently seemed to avoid him, and he had heard from more than one of them that he was a spy for the king, or at least a dangerous and untrustworthy man. As much as he wanted to wear his blades, he knew that unity among the order was more important, and wearing his swords would only create animosity towards him in the order. And the order was where he belonged.
“You still think about it, don’t you?’ Leona’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. Only then did he realize that he had again been staring at the armor.
“Yes.” There was no point lying to her, and he didn’t want to anyway.
“He’s resting in peace Hunter. Please, trust me in that.”
He looked away towards the horizon once more. He didn’t know how she could know, but he still trusted her word, simply because he trusted her. She had shown herself to be a very talented individual. The first time she had shown her abilities was when he had first met her. It had been nearly two cycles ago, on an evening not too unlike the one they now shared.
A Chance Encounter
The rain came down gently in the forest, just enough to discourage most of its inhabitants from being out and about. There were a few birds who looked for worms, and a few smaller animals who where not as bothered by rain as the others. Nearly alone, Hunter sat on a branch in the middle of a large oak, his back resting against the trunk. His eyes took in everything on the ground below him.
There was little to see however, and so he closed his eyes and returned to what he had been doing, listening to the rain. He let out a deep breath, letting his mind rest. The rain never failed to set his mind at ease. Perhaps it even put his soul at ease, but that was deeper than he really cared to think. Such thoughts did nothing for him, and so he let them go.
A slight crack caught his attention, and Hunter looked down to see what it was. A young buck had stepped on a twig, looking around with ears swiveling back and forth, as they often were. For a moment, Hunter contemplated descending on the deer, with it walking near his tree. It was tempting, as hunting was often difficult. He had to track the deer, often for hours, and the deer would occasionally escape him. Though he could chase down many smaller creatures, he could not catch a deer in flight.
The deer walked by, and Hunter did not move. He had hunted the day before and caught his prey, a larger deer than the one that had passed him. It had been his most successful hunt yet. Hunter drew one of the blades from the scabbards set crossing over each other on his back, recalling the kill.
He had crept up to that deer to within feet, staying downwind as nearly silent on the forest floor. Creeping so low and slow he had been on all fours more than once in his approach. The deer had caught on to him when he closed, and he had frozen without breathing for what seemed like hours. He had stared into its black eyes through a bush, watching it intently. Finally, the deer had gone back to grazing. With his sword in hand, he had leapt forward and thrust the blade through its heart before it could react. The deer struggled for only a moment before it fell to the ground. For the first time, Hunter had not had to track the deer.
Looking at the blade, he watched the rain roll off each sharp edge. The sight of the blade though, brought back memories. Memories of his father. The swords had been a gift from his father when he was thirteen, made by a blacksmith friend of his father’s. They had been his for seven cycles now, if he remembered correctly. For the last two cycles, they had replaced his broken bow as his means of hunting.
It had been for cycles since he had last seen his father, and the pain of his absence came back to Hunter as a dull pain in his heart. Four cycles before, when he had worriedly awaited his father’s return. He had waited much of the night, and awoke in the morning to find a hawk at the windowsill with a note. The note was from his father, telling him to enter the forest and wait for his return. Hunter had done so without hesitation, and had since made the forest his home.
Recently, the thought of leaving the forest and searching for his father had entered his mind. But even though he was restless with patience, he hesitated to go. The world outside the forest was one he did not know. Even when he had lived with his father, they had lived in a cabin far from any other towns. The closest he had only visited once, and never wanted to return to. Other than that one trip, he knew nothing of the kingdom except for his father’s stories.
The argument of whether to stay and wait or go and search was one he had had with himself often with the coming of his restlessness. Taking a deep breath, he let the rain calm his nerves once again. It was not something he wanted to contemplate at the moment. All he wanted to do now was relax. Soon, he drifted to sleep.
The boy stood ready, wooden practice swords in hand, watching his father. The light rain made watching his slight movements harder, but the boy knew that applied to himself as well. He had ceased complaining the day before and now saw the rain as just part of his surroundings, as his father had taught him.
“All right son” his father called after some slow circling, “You’re not working against the rain. Good. You should only work against your opponent.”
The boy hadn’t even realized that was what his father was teaching. He had thought he was past that. It didn’t matter now, and he took a few steps closer to his father while still slowly circling.
The lessons had been coming more often now that he was strong enough to practice with his father. More often, as well as harder. But he did not take them with a heavy heart; he embraced them. Even now, cold and wet, his entire focus was on his training. Much of his enthusiasm was from hearing his fathers stories of the world, and wanting to one day see all those places for himself. The boy also just loved the challenge it offered him, both in body and mind.
His father took several quick strides to close the distance in a moment and took a swing with his own practice sword at the boy’s head. The boy quickly brought up his own sword, hitting his father’s and deflecting it, ducking at the same time. He could never out muscle his father, and so found himself using such tactics often. Down low, he brought around his other sword to hit his father’s leg.
Wood met wood as his father intercepted the strike, and the boy leaped back to avoid a counter. Again they stood, out of reach, watching each other.
This time, for the first time, the boy made the first move. He charged, swinging one sword low and one high. His father easily countered, but the boy had not meant to hit with those strikes. With his father’s blades separated, he got one blade loose and went for the opening made between his father blades. However, his father was too quick and deflected the blow. The boy moved with the deflected blade and made another strike with the other blade.
The exchange continued through the steadily increasing rain. The two were locked together, the boy pushing his body and mind to the limit trying to hit his father. Anger rose as time after time his strikes were blocked, deflected, and outright dodged. Then, before he realized it, one of his father’s swords came down on his head, sending his face into the mud.
He was slow to rise, as his head was swimming, but he managed to get his head out of the mud. The first thing he caught as his head cleared was his father’s amused chuckling over the now pouring rain. “Son, you can’t attack in anger like that. You will lose every time.”
At first the boy wanted to argue, but he knew his father was right. He had lost focus, and that made him miss the strike that would have ended his life had it been a real blade of steel. As he wiped the mud from his face, realizing his mistake, he saw his father’s hand next to him. He took it, and his father pulled him to his feet.
“You did well though son” he noted over the rain. “You are improving. Just watch your temper. I have to admit that you are a better student than I was at your age.”
His father’s admission surprised him, and it clearly showed on his face, for his father laughed. “Yes, at your age I thought I knew everything about being a swordsman. Fortunately, my teacher was patient with me, and I learned. Now, let us get out of the rain before you become ill.”
The boy readily agreed, and began to jog back to the cabin. A cabin now empty, without his mother…
Hunter awoke with a start, cutting his left arm against the bark of the tree as he involuntarily jerked. He hardly noticed it, as his mind was on the dream. Never before had a dream of his been so vivid. It had been a memory, one that he now recalled in full. Hunter hardly even recognized the boy that had been him. Unbidden, a bit of a tear fell from his eye, to join the rain that gently beat his face.
Still unnerved, and down hearted, he examined the cut at the back of his arm. It wasn’t much, he had had far worse, and the rain washed away what trickle of blood was coming out. Even so, it was a long cut, and would need to be treated. He knew how such minor wounds could lead to infection, having dealt with that problem once before.
The rain had begun to increase, though at the moment it was still tolerable. Knowing how quickly that could change, Hunter relinquished his perch and landed on the rain softened ground. His legs and the ground helped absorb the impact and it did not hurt as it once had. A short distance away was a vine covered bluff, at which was his home.
The cave entrance was covered in vines nearly all four seasons, and was a welcome addition. It kept out most of the curious animals and allowed him peace and quiet. Pushing these aside, he made his way down the tunnel into the hillside. It was only about six strides, and a right turn brought him to his dwelling.
It was simple enough, for there was little that he needed. The entire area was only half the size of the cabin he had once called home. At the far end were the fur blankets on which he slept in the colder seasons. The fur was from a black bear, the caves former inhabitant. On the left were his clothes, leather of his making, in piles on the floor. His old clothes, the ones he had entered the forest with, he had long since outgrew and he had made new ones from the animals he took for his meals. On the right, he carefully laid down his blades.
Walking over to his furs, he sat down on them and set his back against the cool stone. He had never had a dream as vivid as the one in the tree, one that nearly caused him to fall out of the tree. In his heart, he wanted to see his father again, but in his mind he knew that such a search would likely be useless, and highly dangerous. He knew nothing of the outside world except for a home that was no longer his home and a town of which he despised. Going nearly blind and in ignorance was no way to find anything or anyone. The conclusion made him feel no better.
His mind would not surrender the problem, making him even more restless. Hunter knew that he had to do something, but just what he needed to do and how stayed aggravatingly out of reach. After four cycles of waiting, he knew he could wait no longer. But what could he do? Father, where are you?
* * *
It was raining for the third day in a row and though Leona had never minded it before, being in it for three days was beginning to get to her. She and her new companion Bennick had been traveling with few stops for several days, Leona having lost track of the number in her fatigue. He pressed on hard and she followed having recently understood their plight. Bennick had explained it a few days before and though she had not known him long, he had struck her as an honest man.
However, she didn’t want to do their pursuers any favors by pushing themselves too hard in the rain. “Bennick, please, we need to stop, to rest. I understand why we haven’t stopped yet, but if we keep going like this, we’ll only help them.”
Bennick finally stopped and turned around to face her. He was a big man, the biggest she had seen. He was also the hairiest she had seen. Though he had both trimmed his beard and hair at her home, his hair already seemed long. Strangely enough, his beard had not grown out as much as his hair had.
“Leona,” he said in his deep voice, “I understand how you feel, but we can not stop yet. Remember, I barely escaped my own home, and the king wants both of us. I for what he likely calls murder and you for other reasons. As well as the items you now carry.”
The items he referred to were now in a pack resting on her back. She had yet to see the items, or understand their importance. They were not all that heavy, which she had been relieved of when she first began carrying them, but she carried two such packs. In addition to her pack of medicines, it made a fair amount to carry for as long as she had.
Bennick would likely have carried the items himself, but it was difficult with the broadsword sheathed across his back. It was a massive weapon, one she had never seen the like of before. The thought of the broadsword reminded her of her own new weapon, a rapier now sheathed at her hip. She had no idea how to use it though, and Bennick did not know how to train her. Leona feared that she was more likely to hurt herself than an enemy, and be unable to assist Bennick.
She pushed away the troubling thoughts, bringing her mind back to her original concern. “I know Bennick, but if we both fall ill or injure ourselves, then all of this will have been for nothing.” Leona found it hard to have any conviction about their flight, as Bennick had explained little in the time they had been together. All she knew was that Bennick was wanted for murder. Whether he did or not, she wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling that he had killed before. It was something in his eyes.
Yet, she saw something else in those eyes as well. There was kindness there. It was that feeling that had led her to trust him, and to follow him this far. That, and the fact that he had saved her life.
Bennick let out a heavy sigh. “You are right. This is too important to end here. But we can not stop in the open. The next area of shelter we find, we will stop to rest.”
She still did not understand what was so important about the task Bennick had clearly set for himself, but she was relieved to find that obsession had not clouded his mind. However, the forest was not likely to be very forgiving, as there were simply giant oaks all around. The only shelter they were likely to find was up in those trees, which she highly doubted they would do.
The rain continued to beat on them relentlessly as they continued, at a slower pace Leona noted. The days of travel had begun to wear on her, as she was not used to such hard travel. Bennick had likely noticed, and no longer felt the urgency of the chase. A chase that Leona doubted was even in place at the moment. No one in their right minds would travel through such conditions, and their trail was nearly instantly lost in the rain.
After a time, which seemed to blend with the rest, Leona noticed a short bluff ahead and to the right of them. Bennick had apparently noticed it as well, as he turned towards it and picked up the pace a bit. The bluff was only some twelve feet or so, nowhere near the height of the trees that surrounded them, but it blocked the rain. At least partly.
“Leona, stay here where it is a bit dryer. I will make a shelter where we can stay for a while.” With that, he walked into the woods and was soon picking up what branches he could find. Leona went out to join him.
“You’re not doing this by yourself. If you become ill there is only so much I can do for you, you should know that.”
“Leona” he protested, “Please, stay out of the rain as much as you can. I can do this on my own and I don’t want you falling ill.”
“And what if you become ill?” she shot back. “The sooner we can get some shelter up, the sooner we can both get out of the rain.”
Bennick ceased to protest, but she could see a look of concern on his face. She ignored it. Though she was not used to hard travel, she was no stranger to the woods. Her father had taught her to make such shelters, and she finally used those lessons now. As Bennick found branches large and sturdy enough to support the kind of shelter they needed, she looked for smaller branches that still had a fair amount of leaves on them. If she could find enough to layer, they would make a sturdy roof.
As she searched, she had the unnerving feeling that they were being watched. The most unnerving part was that whenever she had the feeling, she was always right. She kept her eyes and ears alert as much as she could with the rain as she collected the leafy branches. The feeling persisted, for longer than she thought. Those who had assaulted her at her home had been far blunter in their actions. Men Bennick claimed worked for the king. If it wasn’t the same people, then who was watching them?
“What is wrong?” Bennick apparently noticed her nervousness, and she realized that she had stopped.
“Oh, nothing. Just a bit nervous, that’s all. A lot’s happened.”
“I know. Do not worry Leona; I will not let anything happen to you. I promise.” With a smile, he went back to setting one of the branches into the ground to support a roof. Reassured, Leona went back to collecting branches. But the feeling persisted.
As they worked, the wind shifted direction, coming more from the east than the south. The bluff no longer provided as much protection as it had, but their makeshift shelter helped. The two sat under it, huddled together to stay under.
“Bennick, what are we going to do?”
He looked down at her a moment, and Leona could already see the answer in his eyes. “I do not know exactly. I know what needs to be done, just not how to do it.”
Leona had heard his evasive answers one too many times. “What needs to be done Bennick? What is it that is so important? Why is the king after you? Why is he after me? Please, answer me.”
He looked around, as though he thought others may be listening. “Leona, there is much that I need to explain, I know. I will explain it all, but not now. Now, we should rest. Is that not what you said?”
She couldn’t argue, as that had been what she said. Still, she wanted to know what this was all about. But even though she wanted to know, she knew that they both needed the rest. The rain still beating their sides made the task difficult however, and she began to wonder if they could get any rest while they were still in the storm.
“Hello” a voice suddenly called. Bennick was up in an instant, and drew his broadsword.
Leona grabbed his arm saying quietly, “Please Bennick, I doubt anyone with intentions to hurt us would say ‘hello’ first.”
“Please, come out of the rain” came the voice again. A mans voice she noticed. Looking further along the bluff, she noticed that some of the vines were no longer resting against the stone. She couldn’t see anyone, but she was sure the man was standing under those vines.
Bennick still held the broadsword before him. “Who are you?!”
“I am Hunter. Please, there is a cave here you can take shelter in.”
Leona stood up and quickly walked towards the stranger before Bennick could stop her. “Leona, come back here!”
She ignored him and soon saw the man who had offered them shelter. He seemed young, with unevenly cut straight hair and stubble over much of his face. “Thank you Hunter” was all she said. Bennick was right behind her, and she turned back to see that he had relaxed a bit. Hunter pushed away the vines further to show them the tunnel he stood in and stepped aside.
Leona accepted the invitation, only then noticing the sword held loosely in his other hand. It rested on the ground, in no position to be used. Hunter did not even move it when Bennick stepped in with his own sword ready. She noted how Hunter did not even seem the least bit worried at facing such an armed man.
Motioning with his free hand, Hunter led them into the hillside. Glancing back at Bennick again, she could tell he was still wary of the stranger. A reasonable reaction, but Leona felt that it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t seem like the man who would kill them in their sleep. She was usually right about those feelings as well. She found it odd that he wore no shirt, as she felt that the tunnel was cool. Then again, she was soaked to the bone.
There was a light coming from the right at the end of the tunnel, and it was only a few steps before they reached it. Turning, she saw that it was not merely a cave. It was clearly the man’s home. Clothes and wood were all stacked to one side, fur blankets were at the back, and a pair of sheaths lay on the ground on the right, with a warm fire burning near the center of the cavern.
She moved to the fire at quickly sat down, eager to get herself warm. The relief was nearly instant as the heat of the fire made itself felt along her skin. Bennick joined her, apparently more at ease. Leona scooted closer to the fire. For the first time in a long time, she was comfortable.
* * *
Hunter sheathed his sword into its scabbard. His two guests were no threat, and he felt no need to be armed anymore. The large man had finally put his sword away. Hunter had never seen such a sword, nor had he ever seen the kind sheathed at Leona’s waist. But now wasn’t the time to ask such things. The two travelers needed rest, outside of the rain.
He noticed Leona moving closer to the fire. “Don’t get too close. Even wet clothes can catch fire and it is usually better to warm slowly.”
She looked up at him, a guilty smile on her face. “Thank you, I should know better. I’m a healer.”
Hunter nodded, and moved towards the pile of wood for the fire. He only had a small fire going for himself and assumed that the two would need a stronger fire to get warm. The two now sat at the fire, drying and warming themselves. Hunter had never had guests, but the two seemed to be decent people. He had overheard them talking outside the tunnel, and by his guess were simply travelers. Though oddly unprepared.
“Thank you Hunter. I am Bennick and this is Leona. It is kind of you to bring us into your home.”
“There was no reason to leave you two in the rain” Hunter replied, grabbing an armful of wood. “You two needed shelter, and this cave was right here.”
Leona caught his eyes again as she took off her traveling cloak. “Still, this is your home. Thank you for helping us.”
Having nothing more to say about it, Hunter simply accepted the thanks in silence. It had been a long time since he had dealt with anyone but his father and he didn’t know why the two made a big deal over his help. His father would have done the same thing with his home. Brushing it aside, he began to stack wood on the fire, carefully setting the pieces so that they caught fire quickly.
“What happened to your arm?” Leona asked suddenly, moving closer to him. Hunter wasn’t sure what she was talking about for a moment, then remembered the cut from the tree.
“Cut it on some tree bark while climbing. It’s nothing serious” he added when he saw her worried expression.
“Rarely is a cut not serious” she all but scolded. “Even minor cuts can lead to infections. I’ve seen lesser cuts kill a man. Now, let me see your arm.”
Hunter didn’t see why she was so concerned. It was a minor cut that he would deal with before he slept. He had had far worse and lived. The seriousness she was giving such a minor cut seemed a bit much.
Still, she could do him no harm, and so he held out his arm for her to look at. She examined it a while, as though it were a full wound. Her expression briefly reminded him of the looks his mother made when she examined the cuts he received after practicing with real blades with his father. Even those cuts had been minor.
“Well, it doesn’t look too bad. But let me get some things from my pack. I know how to make such a cut heal faster without fear of infection.” She reached into one of the two packs she had set down against the wall, pulling out several herbs. Hunter hadn’t seen some of the herbs before, and he knew every plant in the forest. The two must have traveled some distance before arriving near his home.
She ground the herbs between her fingers until they made a powder, and carefully made sure that none fell from her hand. “Now, this will sting briefly, but it will dull quickly.”
Instead of turning his arm over to have the cut face up as he had expected, she kept his arm in place so that he could not see where her finger touched. There was a brief and light sting, lighter than he thought it would be, followed by a strange cooling sensation. It was not only on his skin, but he felt it down in his muscles as well. It moved with her finger as she slowly moved them down the length of the cut.
He took his gaze off his arm and looked at Leona herself. Her eyes were closed, and it looked as though she were concentrating. Why would someone need that much concentration to apply medicine to a surface cut? When her fingers had run the length of the cut, she removed them and opened her eyes. “How do feel?”
The coolness had left with her fingers and he turned his arm around to examine the cut. There was no cut. It had completely disappeared, without even a trace of where it had once been. Hunter stared at his arm a moment. There were no plants that could have healed flesh that quickly, that he knew for certain, and he couldn’t imagine the herbs causing the coolness. That had seemed to come from Leona’s fingers. What had she done?
“Thank you” was all he could manage to say. His mind simply couldn’t comprehend what had happened, and he had a hard time accepting the explanation now coming to mind. That she had healed his cut by her will.
“You’re welcome.” She apparently didn’t realize the shock he was in. “Just helping out. Like you helped us.”
With difficulty, he pushed the mystery aside. He could think on it later. Right now he had to deal with the two strangers, who were no longer simple travelers to him.
Staring at her as he was, Hunter noticed that she still seemed quite wet. If she stayed in those wet clothes, there was a good chance that she could still fall sick. As he got up and walked towards his stack of clothes, which he guessed would fit well enough to be comfortable, he asked, “So, what are you two doing this far in the woods?”
There was a bit of an awkward silence, were Leona gave Bennick an odd look. As Hunter picked up both a leather shirt and breeches, Bennick replied “We were traveling to Haven City, but it seems that we have become lost.”
“Hunter” Leona spoke up, “You know this forest well, right?”
He nodded as he walked over with the clothes. “Here, put these on. You should get out of your wet clothes before you become sick.” Looking past her to Bennick he added, “I don’t have anything that you could fit.”
Leona looked as though she was about to protest, but took the clothes and set them next to her on the stone floor. “Thank you Hunter. I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask with how much you’ve done for us already, but,” and she hesitated, “could you be our guide through the forest? We’re ill prepared to continue as lost as we are.
Bennick gave her a hard glare before returning to his passive look. Hunter guessed that Bennick did not like the offer, but an idea was forming in his mind as he thought about the offer. Guiding them would likely be necessary, as if they were lost they would likely die of starvation before they reached anywhere hospitable. That he would do simply because there was no reason to let them die needlessly.
What he thought about was the idea of a guide. He could easily be their guide through these woods, but they could be his guides through the kingdom. They knew places he didn’t, people he didn’t, and how the world worked outside the forest, as he knew it was different but did not know how. And, at the back of his mind, he wanted to figure out what Leona had done and how she had done it, as well as finding the meaning to the questions he had overheard her asking Bennick.
“There is a town not to far from here that I know of. I can guide you there once the rain stops and you are ready to go. For now, I suggest you both rest.”
“Thank you Hunter. Now, could you both give me a little privacy as I change?”
Bennick rose immediately and walked to the tunnel. Hunter wasn’t sure why she felt she needed privacy. His mother had, on occasion, undressed before his father and him. Still, there was no need to press, and there was no way she could steal anything, so he stood up and followed Bennick into the tunnel.
Hunter leaned against the wall, and Bennick stood opposite of him. In the silence, Hunter could hear Leona undressing, the wet clothes falling heavily to the floor. Her sigh of relief told him that she was happy to be out of her wet clothes. However, as far as Hunter could hear, she did not pick up the clothes he had given her right after that. What was she doing in there?
“So Hunter, what is it that you do?” Bennick asked, drawing Hunter’s attention to him.
“I live here. What about you?” Perhaps he could learn something.
Bennick gave a light smile. “You live here? How do you make a living?”
The question seemed at first ridiculous, until he remembered what his parents had once told him. Everyone worked to make what they needed and traded for what they could not. His father had been what he called a bounty hunter, though he had never truly explained to Hunter what that was. His mother was a traveling musician, and had played for him often. However, there was nothing that he did like that.
“I hunt” he said simply, not liking how Bennick had ignored his own question.
“Is that why you call yourself Hunter?”
He stared at Bennick a while. What was the man trying to get at? “What is it that you do?”
Bennick returned the look. “Former militia man. I am looking to start over since finding that life in a small town was not for me.”
The lie was obvious to Hunter, but he nodded and decided to let it go. Trust was something that could wait. First, he would be their guide, and learn who they were.
“Where did you get the swords?” Bennick asked after a moment.
“Where did you get your sword? I’ve never seen one so large before.”
Bennick did not answer, and Hunter said no more. If the man was not willing to tell him anything, he was not going to tell Bennick anything. He rested against the wall, looking at Bennick and trying to see if his body might say something that his mouth had not. His hands were calloused, so he likely had used the sword before. The clothes were ragged, his skin darkened by sun, and his face guarded. He had seen the look before. It was much like how his father looked when he had gone with his father into town. A face that was completely neutral.
“You two can come back now.” With Leona’s call, Hunter stepped from the wall and back into the cavern. Leona stood there by the fire, now in the leather clothes of his making. They seemed to fit well, only a little large on her. She didn’t seem to mind. By her size, Hunter guessed that she couldn’t be all that much older than himself.
To Hunter, Leona looked better in the leather than she would have in her other clothes if they had been dry. With the layers off, Hunter could see her far better. She was a bit smaller than she first seemed to be, with almost no fat on her and only the barest of muscle. And yet, even as he looked at her, she did not really seem weak in any way. Though small, she did not appear frail. That meant more to Hunter than any part of her looks.
Thinking about it, she was the first woman he had seen since his mother’s death. Frustrated at the memories that brought, he walked over to his furs and sat down. Bennick had followed him back and sat down where he had been before, nodding to Leona in apparent approval. Leona’s gaze though had followed Hunter.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. You should get some sleep, both of you. It will be several days traveling to the town.”
“What town is it, if you know?” Bennick asked.
“Tennice I believe. It’s been a long time since I was last there, but it should still be there.”
“Yes, I have heard the name before. Very well, when the rain ends, we can set out. Again, thank you for allowing us into your home. Now, I believe we should get some rest, as Hunter suggested.”
Both Leona and Bennick found as comfortable a position as they could find on the floor and Hunter lay down on his furs. He stayed there a time, contemplating what would come. For the first time in a long time, he would enter a town, and see other people. He hadn’t really thought about it until this moment, but he truly knew nothing on how people behaved. He knew they all weren’t like his parents. In fact, he knew more about the inhabitants of the forest than he did his own people. Well, that’s what guides were for.
When he knew that both were asleep, Hunter got up and began looking through their pack, hoping to find some answers. First, he looked through the pack Leona had taken the herbs out of. What he found didn’t surprise him. There were a couple wooden containers with writing on them, indicating their contents, both herb and liquid from what he heard. At the bottom of the pack was a small amount of food, which likely wouldn’t last more than two sunsets between the two of them. It seemed he would have to hunt for them on the way.
Opening the other pack, he was surprised. The items seemed quite unusual for a long trip. There were various odd items lying on top of what seemed to be a large sheet made of small bits of metal. He took out the first item sitting on top, a ring in the shape of a falcon. Its wings curved down from the body, forming the ring, and seemed to be made of silver. The detail of the thing captured his attention. Every feather was in place, the eyes gazing ahead, and muscles pushing the wings in a down stroke. It was the perfect representation of a falcon in flight except for the circular curve of the wings to make it a ring.
Setting aside the ring, he pulled out what appeared to be a book. The leather binding was worn by time, yet he could tell that it was once of better quality than his leather clothing. He flipped through the pages and found that it was not a book, but a journal. The dates were meaningless to him, and he could not find a reason to read it, as he doubted that it was either Bennick’s or Leona’s.
Next, he pulled out the metal sheet that had first caught his attention. Holding it in front of him, he saw that it was a shirt of some kind, with long sleeves and long in the torso, made of metal like his swords. The small pieces of metal joined together so that it allowed the wearer freedom of movement. Hunter thought the shirt quite useful.
When he went to replace the items, he noticed that there was one still at the bottom of the pack. Setting down the metal shirt, he picked up the last item. It was a necklace, a chain link necklace with a small wolf head cut out of metal hanging on it. He held it before him, unable to take his eyes off of it. The necklace swung gently from his fingers, now caressing the metal. He had seen the necklace before. It had once been his mother’s, a gift from his father. After her death, his father had taken it and wore it always.
His father never removed the necklace, so what was it doing in the pack? What was it doing in Bennick’s possession? He held back tears as he realized what the necklace meant. Something truly had happened to his father. His father would never remove the necklace, not on his own. He stared at Bennick a while, wondering how Bennick had gotten the necklace. Eventually, he let his gaze down and put the rest of the items back into the pack.
Hunter sat back down on the furs, and put the necklace around his neck. It was rightfully his, until he found his father, and he would wear it. He put on a leather shirt to keep it from the sight of the others, and then he lay down on the furs and went to sleep.
More chapters will be posted here as I finish them.
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Okay, I've made some changes to the prologue. First, and likely the most obvious, chapter 1 has changed into a prologue. There are other minor changes and additions in there as well. I have left what is now chapter 1, A Chance Encounter, untouched for now. If you have found my first post too long, you can critique the prologue and chapter 1 seperately. Now, onto the next chapter. This one is about 15 pages and 4,783 words long.
Through the Forest
Hunter was the first to wake, and so he started breakfast. The others gradually awoke to the smell of cooking meat. The meal was a quiet affair, and soon they were preparing for the journey ahead. Hunter kept the clothes he had worn the night before, as they had not had time to become dirty. That was the one thing he truly liked about his leather; he could wear it for long periods of time without feeling uncomfortable or alerting other animals by his smell.
Leona kept on the clothes he had given her, putting her now dry clothes into her pack. Bennick had not even removed his sword since he entered the cavern, so he was ready to leave as soon as breakfast was finished. When he was sure the three were ready, Hunter led the way out.
Hunter knew the oak forest well, as he had traveled far throughout it in his years of making it his home. It was pretty flat, with occasional steep hills and ravines. The direct route to Tennice crossed one such ravine, so Hunter knew he would have to find a way around it. It would likely add half a day or more to the trip, as the pace would be far slower than he was used to.
He had learned that shortly after the journey began. Starting off at an easy jog, he had barely entered the forest when he heard Leona call out, “Hunter, where are you going?” He had thought the answer was obvious, they were going to Tennice. When he stopped and looked back, he saw that the two seemed to be having trouble following him. They seemed to have a hard time making any speed over roots and around trees. He hadn’t thought that they carried that much weight, and had thought the two could keep pace.
It seemed that he had assumed wrong. He waited for them to catch up, then began at a much slower pace. “How long do you believe it will take to reach Tennice?” Bennick asked.
Taking into account their speed, stops to rest and hunt, and other unforeseen occurrences, his estimate was actually far higher than it had been when he had agreed to help them. “We should be there in about four more dawns.”
Bennick and Leona nodded, and the three remained mostly silent as they began their journey. The sun was making its own journey across the sky, soon arriving at its own destination before the small group. At Bennick’s insistence, and Hunter’s own wishes, they continued a time through the night. But not long after, he called a stop. Even in the dark of night, Hunter could see the strain on both Bennick’s and Leona’s faces, which Bennick was trying to hide. It wouldn’t do any of them any good for the two to push themselves too hard.
As the two began to make camp, with what they could, Hunter went out to hunt. So far, he had learned little about the two, except that they didn’t seem to have a great deal of endurance. They could neither keep pace with him nor could they even maintain a slower pace for long. That puzzled him almost as much as the other mysteries around them.
On that thought, his mind made its way back to the necklace. He still could not understand how the two could have attained his mother’s necklace, yet it was now around his neck. As much as he wanted to know, he was not yet willing to admit what they would likely see as his theft.
The only thing that he felt he had learned about the two was that they did not seem to be thieves or important members of society. Hunter believed that he would likely have to ask the two where they had obtained the necklace eventually. Perhaps that would lead him to his father. Hearing the footsteps of one of the forest’s inhabitants, he slowed his pace and began the end of the hunt.
* * *
When Hunter left, Leona looked at the woods for a while where he had disappeared. He seemed tireless, not looking the least bit weary as they traveled. She was exhausted after the full day’s travel, and she felt she was in good shape. Hunter seemed almost, inhuman, to her. The only thing she knew for certain was that there was something different about him.
“Leona?” Bennick called from behind her.
She turned around to see Bennick starting to make a shelter like the one they had made the night they met Hunter. They had gone without even that when they first took flight. Realizing she wasn’t being much help standing around, she walked over to assist Bennick.
“Yes?” Bennick looked like something was on his mind.
“You seem to be watching Hunter quite a bit as of late. What is it you are looking for?”
“He just seems, different” she confessed. She just didn’t know how yet.
“He is an able woodsman, as it seems. I would say he has lived in these woods some time, by how easily he moves.” He still seemed as though there was something wrong.
“Bennick, is there something you want to say?”
Bennick smiled, as though there was a release of tension. “Now that we are alone, for a time, I wish to tell you what this is all about. I would have told you in the morning, had Hunter not been with us.”
Leona moved closer, not truly realizing until this moment just how much she truly wanted answers. Bennick’s face took on a very serious look, as though he were still hesitant about revealing what he knew. Then, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he began.
“Leona, I do not know if you have heard of the Knights of the Wild, but they are pivotal in understanding what I have to say.”
Leona nodded, having heard the legend before from her father, but not understanding what they had to do with anything. They were just a legend, if one she wished to believe was true.
“The knights were people just like us” he began, “only they had a special power, a bond with nature, which allowed them to become half animal. There were knights of almost every creature known, and even a few that were not. These knights were the guardians of the land, assisting the royal family, though not officially tied to them. I have recently learned that the king truly had no authority over them.”
Leona was quite surprised to hear this, her eyes going wide but her jaw staying shut. A group that powerful, and fully autonomous? Why did they not simply rule the land?
“I do not know why they did not rule themselves” he said, correctly guessing her thoughts, “but I believe they had their reasons, and that it was for the better. Then came the murder of the royal family. Suspicion fell on the Knights, who actually remained silent to all accusations. Then, the day a new king was appointed by the people, they seemed to vanish. Since that time, no king has taken a wife, and the heir was never seen until the king passed away. This tradition has continued to this day.”
She had heard much of this before, though not all of it, and she was beginning to become irritated. “Bennick, you still have not answered my question. What does all that have to do with what’s happened?”
“Leona, the king is not who he seems to be. He is the one who drove the Knights the away, and he is after something. I have to stop him, and make sure a true king rules from the throne.”
All Leona could do was stare at him. Bennick hadn’t seemed the kind to be delusional, but his statements were completely absurd. And yet, as she looked into his eyes, he did not strike her as delusional or crazy. He seemed to mean every word.
“My dear Leona, I carry the same gift the knights did. When we are truly alone, I will show you, I promise.”
“Where do I fit into all this?” she asked, taken a little aback at the enormity of what had just been revealed to her. Bennick, a Knight of the Wild? But she felt no lie from him, and that, more than anything in the past, was beginning to scare her.
“You are gifted with magic Leona. The king has learned of it, and sent his agents as you saw that night. I have read many old books, and they have hinted at the great power of magic that was once wielded. I believe you have that power. You have only to learn.”
She looked down at her hands. Leona had heard of magic before, again from her father, but had always denied having it. The way she had always seen it was that she was simply gifted, not believing that she could have magic. Now she felt she could no longer deny it, and that she may have more power than she ever realized.
“I am glad that you learned how to heal on your own” he said rubbing his shoulder and smiling, referring to the first time they had met.
Leona managed a weak smile in return. “Yeah, I found that by chance.” To know that her power may not be limited to healing was something that scared her, and gave her a strange sense of excitement. What was she capable of?
Hearing heavy footfalls, Leona turned around to see what could possibly be approaching them. Out of the forest came Hunter, a young buck slung over his shoulders. Leona just watched him as he set the deer down close to the fire. He couldn’t be much older than her, to her eyes, yet he seemed as strong as Bennick.
“How did you find a deer in such fine shape?” Bennick sounded as surprised as she was. “I would have thought it would be partially eaten by now.”
Hunter gave him an odd look, which quickly turned into an angry stare. “I killed it. We will need food for tonight as well as later. This deer should last until we reach the town.” Drawing one of his swords, he began to dress the deer.
Bennick looked like he thought Hunter was lying, but kept silent. Leona herself saw no reason to argue, as Hunter was right about the food. As she helped Bennick set up shelter, she again watched Hunter. He seemed stronger than his size would say, faster than most people, and agile as a squirrel. Again, she had the feeling that there was something different about him. The strangest thing was that Hunter didn’t even seem to realize how different he was.
* * *
The next three days were spent much as the first day had been. However, the trail became more and more difficult as time went on. The land, where it had once been smooth, was now rolling hills with sheer rock faces and canyon like ravines. Progress slowed a bit, as Hunter expected, but the two seemed more able than he had thought. Though their pace was slow, they kept moving at that pace no matter what the forest did.
Even with his careful watching, he still couldn’t figure out what made these two so different. By now he knew that they were nothing like himself, and nothing like his parents. He knew that there were some similarities that nearly all humans shared, that he remembered from his time in the town, but these two seemed to have nothing in common with them.
It hadn’t escaped his notice that Leona had been watching him quite intently since the first night in the forest. Though he couldn’t understand why, it was beginning to bother him. She seemed to be searching for something, but he couldn’t figure out what she was trying to find. It wasn’t until the sun began to set into the third night that he realized that she was doing to him what he was doing to them.
Hunter called a stop early, knowing that the path ahead would soon become far more difficult and wanted all of them, even himself, to rest before attempting it. Leona approached him after they had finished eating and sat next to him.
“Where’d you get your swords Hunter?” She seemed to calm, as though they had always known each other.
He looked at her a moment, wondering if he should tell her. “My father” he finally answered, noticing that Bennick was sitting across the cooking fire, sitting against a tree.
“Was he a swordsman?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought so.” She looked away as Hunter looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
She turned back around, a weak smile on her face. “I just have a way of knowing things about people. People tell me it’s a gift.” Hunter wasn’t sure what to make of the slight laugh that followed her words.
“What else do you know?” he asked, curious as to what she thought.
“Oh, I don’t really know anything much. I’m just good at guessing.” He nodded, wanting her to continue. “Well, I’m guessing that your father taught you.”
Hunter nodded. She was good at guessing. He himself didn’t know enough about the society of humans to guess were she came from. All he could guess was that she spent a fair amount of time outdoors and there was some truth to her claim of being a healer.
Then her features seemed to take on an almost embarrassed look. “Well, I was wondering, if you don’t mind, maybe teaching me how to use a sword?”
His eyebrow shot up in curiosity. She wanted him to teach her? He had never even seen the kind of weapon she had before. But, he knew that the most important lessons his father had taught him truly had little or nothing to do with the weapons in his hands.
“I can, and I believe that it’s a good idea. The wild can be a very dangerous place.” He gave her a smile and drew his blades as he stood up.
Bennick looked up as he did so and Leona walked over to her own weapon. “Don’t worry Bennick. He’s going to teach me how to use a sword.”
“Does he know how to use a rapier?” So that was weapon was called.
“Even if he doesn’t, I’m sure there are things he can teach me that you couldn’t.” Bennick gave her a long look, then shrugged. He just watched her as she retrieved her weapon and walked back to where Hunter waited. He nodded his approval and took a fighting stance. Leona held out her rapier a bit more tentatively.
“Hold your rapier a little farther out, and try to hold back my sword.” She held the blade out at an angle, as she should, and Hunter set his own blade against it. Using only a little force, he easily pushed her weapon aside.
“Well, the most important part of a fight is defense, so you need to learn to defend yourself. Obviously, you’re not going to be blocking any attacks, so you’ll need to learn to dodge. I’ll start slow, and simply. Don’t worry, I won’t hit you.”
She nodded, and Hunter took the first swing. He had to change his angle to avoid hitting her. The look of disappointment on her face said more to Hunter than she likely realized. He didn’t say a word, instead he swung from the other direction, though a bit slower. This time she avoided the strike by leaping back.
Hunter nodded. “Something to remember: don’t just watch my sword, watch my body. A sword, or any other weapon for that matter, can change direction without notice, but the body will never lie about its actions.” She nodded in return as Hunter took a step forward to strike again.
The sun fell under the horizon as they trained, Hunter gradually increasing the speed of his attacks as Leona was able to dodge them. He varied his attacks height and location, using one blade at a time. She was a good student, picking up on what she needed to do with little guidance from Hunter. He liked that, as the more she learned on her own the better off she was likely to be.
As he slowly increased his speed, Hunter found that Leona seemed to work well under pressure. She didn’t simply avoid his attacks, but often managed to get herself in position for a counter attack. There were a few moves that even Hunter did not expect. Hunter never came close his full speed, but felt that even after only one exercise Leona was at least a competent student.
She began to tire shortly after nightfall, only a little longer then he thought she would last. When she was unable to dodge swings that she had learned to avoid before, he called an end to the training. “All right, we’ll do this again tomorrow night. Now, you need to rest. There is dangerous land ahead that we all need to be prepared for.” With that, he sheathed his swords and walked to the opposite side of the fire that Bennick had started.
Leona found a comfortable spot on the ground next to Bennick and promptly fell asleep, exhausted as she was, and Bennick soon followed her. When both were asleep, Hunter took out the necklace, glad that it had not been exposed during the training. Leona’s inability to fight strengthened his belief that they were neither thieves nor bandits. Putting the necklace back under his shirt, he decided to ask them about after they arrived at the town. Before they discovered that the necklace was missing.
Not being tired, he instead climbed a tree to have a view of both the couple and the moon. There was so much he wanted to know, and soon, he would have at least some of the answers.
* * *
Well, Hunter certainly meant what he said, Leona thought as she continued to pull herself up the steep hill. If it were any steeper, it would simply be called a cliff. As it was, they were using trees and their branches to climb. It hadn’t escaped her notice that Hunter seemed to be having significantly less trouble than them, but even he had lost some of his agility to the slope.
Bennick was behind her, having a little easier time of the hill than her, able to catch her if she lost her balance. That assistance was likely unnecessary, as Hunter was helping her nearly every step of the way. If it wasn’t for him, she would have likely fallen into Bennick several times already. Hunter’s firm grip and balance got her past more than one barrier she had a hard time overcoming herself.
Slowly, she managed to make it up the slope, finally coming to what could be considered level ground. Bennick was right behind her, pulling himself up without any help. After catching her breath, she looked up to see Hunter resting easily against a tree.
He watched them a moment, his face unreadable. “We’ll rest here a while. You’ll need your wits for the descent.”
That thought disheartened Leona briefly. How had her father done this sort of thing? The sun was not even mid-sky yet and she was exhausted. She sat against a tree, hoping to recover before they had to move again. Bennick, as she expected, was not as winded as her, though he was still noticeably breathing heavier.
With the time to rest, she examined herself to see if she had managed any cuts on the way up. There were a few, which she quickly took care of with her magic. They were minor scratches, and didn’t take much effort. As she had done many times before, she silently expressed her love of her abilities. They had helped her on so many occasions, and had helped so many others on likely as many or more occasions.
A steady breeze began to wind its way through the trees, cooling her mildly sweaty face. It helped her relax, and she had to stop herself from taking a nap. She knew they had a long way to go and she was almost always still tired after waking up, even if it was only a brief nap. Pushing herself to her feet, she again let herself relax.
“You two ready?” Hunter asked, no longer leaning against the tree.
Leona looked over to Bennick, who nodded for himself and looked to her. “Yeah, I’m ready” she replied.
Hunter smiled and began walking again. Leona took her usual place behind him, with Bennick behind her. The three walked over what one might consider a plateau for some time, the scenery around them changing little as they made surprisingly steady progress.
The cry of a hawk caught her attention, and she looked up to watch its flight. It glided through the air with ease, free of the constraints that slowed the three of them down. More than once, she had dreamed of flying through the air, propelled by powerful wings. She would go over and under clouds, simply gliding over the land far below. There must have been knights who were of birds. She could only imagine how they felt, though her vivid dreams gave her some idea; at least to her.
“Watch your step” she heard Bennick say behind her.
Leona looked back towards the ground and barely managed to avoid tripping over a root. She brushed her hair back as she looked back at Bennick. “Heh, thanks.”
He smiled to her as he nodded for her to keep going. She glanced up once more but the hawk was gone. Turning her gaze back to Hunter, she continued forward. There would be time for thought, and fantasy, another time. For now, they just needed to get to Tennice. There, they would think on the future. Perhaps even all three of us, she thought as she regarded Hunter once more.
* * *
The descent, though not as steep, was still difficult to manage. Even most of the forests dwellers avoided the hill. Hunter led Bennick and Leona down as they made their way from tree to tree. If they tried to simply walk down, they would likely fall over themselves and roll all the way down the hill. More likely, they would hit a tree before they reached the bottom. Fortunately, the thick oaks were as plentiful on the slope as they were on flat ground, and there were many large rocks to use as stopping points as well.
Though the path was less strenuous, it wasn’t any easier. More than once, he had to assist Bennick or Leona from falling down the hill. He had to help Leona more often, but even she eventually got used to traveling the hill.
The three made it to the bottom of the hill by evening, and only got a short distance farther before nightfall. They made camp then, tired and hungry. With the meat cooking, Hunter once again became Leona’s teacher.
“You’re improving” he told her shortly after starting. It was clear to him now that he was building upon what Bennick had started, but just as clear was the fact that Bennick had not been able to teach anything but the most basic lessons.
“Thanks.” Leona had certainly thrown herself into the lessons, patiently listening to all Hunter had to say, and never complaining about the way he taught. It was not as if her complaints would have done anything, as Hunter only really knew one way of teaching, and thought that changing it would make the teaching almost worthless.
Her thanks though was a bit humorous to him. She likely didn’t even realize half the lessons she was being taught, but could one day save her life. “All right, it’s time to change lessons. Tonight, I want you to try and hit me.” At Bennick’s and Leona’s odd looks, he simply smiled and said, “Leona, you are not a swordsman, or swordswoman. You won’t be able to hit me, but the practice will do you good.” He remembered such sessions with his father, and always found them the most instructive lessons.
For a while she simply stood there, then struck faster than Hunter had thought she could, or would. He easily deflected the forward thrust, and sidestepped clear of any possible second attack. Leona lost her footing and barely managed not to fall. Her look of surprise, as well as the one now on Bennick’s face, actually surprised him a little. Apparently, they had never met a true swordsman. He took a defensive stance, showing Leona that he waited for her next strike.
They went back and forth as the meat cooked, Leona never even managing to get close to Hunter. Everything she did was either deflected or dodged completely. Hunter called a stop when the meat was cooked enough. Even though she was tired, hungry, and nowhere near to being a swordswoman, Hunter still felt that she had still improved from when they started. Perhaps she would improve further after eating.
However, he could see that she was in no condition to do much of anything, much less train, before she even finished her meat. When she was finished, she was all but asleep. She made herself as comfortable as she could on the forest floor, and was asleep in moments.
“Hunter, I could not help but notice your skill with swords, two swords, in fact. I am curious; did you train under a man by the name of Demarius Resteel?”
“No” he replied, not even looking at Bennick. “I was taught by my father.”
“I doubt that. There is no better swordsman than Demarius, and he is the only man truly capable of teaching a man to wield two swords. At least, the only man in the kingdom.”
Now Hunter looked Bennick in the eye, anger rising deep within him. “I was taught by my father” he managed to say levelly, suppressing his rising anger. Being called a liar was something he found he could not tolerate.
Bennick stared back at him, his face set in a hard expression. Then, it suddenly changed to a look of puzzlement, his lips loosening and his eyes showing curiosity rather than stoicism. “Are you, by chance, the son of the man known as The Shadow Warrior?”
“I’ve never heard the name” he replied. Yet, something tugged at the back of his mind, like there was something familiar about the name.
“He was a bounty hunter, a man who caught wanted people in exchange for money” Bennick said, adjusting his position against the tree. “Rumor has it he was an amazing swordsman with twin blades, rivaling Demarius, that he never failed to catch a bounty, that he was as inescapable as one’s shadow. Some have even said that he could become a shadow, but that is simply superstitious talk. The most interesting thing though, if it is to be believed, is that he rarely killed, no matter the circumstance. He even brought in bounties alive when the wanted poster asked for them dead or to just have the head as proof.”
A bounty hunter; that was what his father had said he was. However, he never spoken of any bounties to him, only the places he had been, the people he had met, and the friends he had made. His mother had told him the story in which she had met his father, which did involve a bounty. Was this Shadow Warrior Bennick spoke of his father?
Hunter rose and put out the fire. “I’ve never heard of this Shadow Warrior before. Now, we should both get some sleep. We’ll be coming into Tennice tomorrow.”
Bennick nodded and closed his eyes, again adjusting himself to find a comfortable position. Taking his own advice, though he truly didn’t need it, Hunter climbed the tree which he had been resting against. Finding a sturdy branch that was still somewhat close to the ground, he made himself comfortable against the trunk.
He had a hard time getting to sleep. His mind would just not stop running. What would he find in that crowded town? Were his answers there? Were his answers with Bennick and Leona? Looking down upon the pair, he knew that he couldn’t worry about it now. What would come would come. He was prepared, at least he thought, for what would come. Calming himself gradually, he eventually fell asleep.
No, lol. I was just tired I guess. I'll see what I can do about the specifics that you want, when I have more time.
And its not action, in the sense of fighting or plot twists that I was referring it to. It was simple the 'act' that was missing. As if you'd tell us: "... big and strong yet often gentle. He was also the smartest man Hunter had yet met."
Demonstrate. We dont see his intelligence, we're told of it. There are other instances but Im afraid I've run out of time.
Uh, I don't mean to be rude here, but could you be a bit more specific? Like, perhaps show me where my worst offenses are? And I'm not trying to be arguemetetive, but most novels I have read don't have much action this early in the book. But, I'll keep your words in mind. And Jiggity, is it really that complicated, and how so? If it's too complicated I'll likely lose readers. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read it both of you.
Im goign to agree with Jiggy here, you need to demonstrate a characters ability through actual action.
IE - A character called bob who is thick but quick.
Bob sliced his sword through the air like a fork of lightning hitting the earth. Its speed was unmatched and his oponant, Bill could not parry. Bill backed off and rose his sword in the air. Bob looked, dumbstruck, Bill was doing somethign complicated, Bob couldnt handle it and began to cry.
Ok, wow that was really long and complimacated (yes that was deliberate). So, I'll only say some generic things. First off, the length needs to be offset with some action. You have these huge lumps of bacground and description. All part of character build up yes, but there are more interesting ways of showing us--through actual scenes rather then just telling us--he was smart and strong. Demonstrate!
Otherwise it gets boring. Let the characters develop slowly, finding out more about them is one of the joys of reading. Dont kill that before it begins. On the plus side this was very well written with only a few typos. Well done. Remember: Show rather then Tell